Do you often have to deal with demanding guests in Free Live Chat? Short private chats, with members who only want to jump straight into action without any social interaction with you? Does this happen with every model on all cam site platforms? What could really be causing it? Is there a way to avoid these kinds of situations? What is the secret to having long private videochats with high quality members, while having more fun and less stress at work? Don’t worry, in this article we will look into this matter and try to answer these questions.
Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for camgirls to feel offended/abused by impolite members in their rooms (Free Live Chat and Private Video Chat) at some point. Let’s define the terms “offensive” and “abusive” as any behavior that disrespects the human being behind the screen. Performing as a webcam model is not all about following a script. In fact, when we are talking about camgirls we are talking about amateurs offering online live interaction, both social and sexual.
After all, in psychological terms it is not possible for the human mind (when healthy and unperverted, according to psychanalysis) to separate these aspects completely. The logic in question is basically the following (or at least it should be along these lines): “I can expect to deal with very sick people during my day, but I cannot force myself to mirror their behavior in order to ‘secure my job’ or, to ‘develop my career’.
All of these points should be obvious, but after all these years in the business, I still feel the necessity to discuss it. These next paragraphs are directed to premium cam girls. Let’s clarify that “premium” here means that the camgirls are working in a kind of platform that has the possibility to invite their members into private sessions and can make most of their earnings from this.
People treat you the way you allow them to
Some camgirls feel as though some members are coming into their room and mistreating them or misbehaving. Some claim that guests are rude and demanding and make nonstop requests. If you identify with these scenarios and/or if you would like to have more friendly and talkative members, the first thing you need to do is to change the way you treat yourself. Beautiful in theory, but completely useless in practice? No way! I am going to show you how you can do this step by step according to this training program:
1. Take care of and pay attention to your Profile: Maybe you think it’s pointless, but it describes you in a meaningful way. No need to try to impress members and grab their attention with potential keywords unrelated to who you are and do not meet the genuine expectations of members in your room. Instead, describe yourself by showing them that you’re a real person and that they need to respect you as a human being before they enter the room to interact with you. For example, if you do not like outfit request, don’t say you love it. On the other hand, you enjoy it, make it clear!
2. Update your Topic of the day: If you work on a platform which offers an option like “Topic” of the day, don’t hesitate to advise your members: “You are welcome to enter my room if you have the sensibility to understand that I am not a living doll, but a person just like you. The nicer you are to me, the better my performance will be and the more I will want to please you“.
3. Make sure everybody is reading it: While you are talking to your guests in Free Live Chat, you need to educate them ahead of time to respect you. If they start being disrespectful (and only you can define this limit), just remind them about your “topic” or if it’s unavailable, to read your profile. According to my personal experience, the vast majority of guests/members have apologized or left the room without insisting.
4. The platform rating system: Regarding the general issue, the root of the problem is not the members themselves, but the rating system of the sites. They usually force the models to put up with abuse from members because they are afraid of receiving bad ratings causing damage to traffic, visibility and reputation. So, my suggestion is to talk to your members before starting a show in order to make sure they are polite enough.
5. Don’t be afraid of losing money: Rude guests who are just looking for a kind of “living doll to follow a script” rarely stay for more than a few minutes in Private and only make the camgirls feel worthless. Big spenders are those who are really involved during the interaction, which is the real purpose of this job.
6. Develop your self-esteem: Last but not least: don’t let anyone reduce and objectify you as if you were any less valuable than a human being. In practice it means you don’t have to follow or accept every request, or deal with members who don’t bother saying “hi” or “bye.” Even if they claim that “they are paying you, so you have to do it,” the reality is completely different. The idea of a camgirl job is NOT to act like a sex machine, but to promote the LIVE INTERACTION between models and members, which includes the social aspect.
Let’s go deeper into this issue!
A cultural issue behind this matter
Common sense is that members are paying for a service, as such, models need to offer said service without complaining. Nevertheless, it is not all about the money, but a cultural issue that stems from the structures of power, especially patriarchal domination. Since human societies have been ruled by father figures, for instance, such is the case with the majority of religions that rely on male gods, politicians, and other masculine symbols.
Historically, it is possible to find evidence of matriarchal societies, especially before and out of the Greek and Judeo-Christian world, in which the figure of the woman was considered sacred and a symbol of fertility, because of her capacity to conceive life. However, following the decline of ancient civilizations, the value of women has gradually moved to a secondary position, within a patriarchal society without representation and political rights, confining themselves to domestic and family spheres. Only in the mid-XIX century, did the first movements emerge to fight for autonomy and more egalitarian conditions between the genders.
The Human Rights Declaration set the first milestone for the struggle of freedom for all, including all genders. Since then, many achievements have been reached, such as social representation, the right to vote, labor unions, recognition of women’s rights by the U.N., etc. However, in spite of the rights achieved, women continue living in this position of deference in our current society, judged as being inferior and suffering innumerable prejudices and violence (not only physical).
This historical contextualization is relevant to remind us that the male rudeness that we deal with today in videochat has nothing to do with the famous “But they are being paid to accept it…“, because when you buy any kind of service, you don’t really treat the person serving you like an object. In other words, the service doesn’t include the objectification of the person who serves it. Thus, what is happening in camgirls’ rooms are a repetition of well-known chauvinist behavior, incentivized and worsened by many platform rating systems. The issue comes from the fact that all members are allowed to rate camgirls, even those who interact with the model for just 1 or 2 minutes in Private, and this affects negatively the model’s rating and position on the site and her traffic as a consequence. That is why it is essential to see the whole picture, to be critical about what has been naturalized and what can be done to change such oppressive practices.
At this point of the discussion, let’s remember that social representations of gender are cultural burdens that are inherited and put forward by each generation. This is a result of centuries of history, marked by inequalities between social roles for men and women. Female objectification is one of these social representations of gender and occurs when a woman is reduced to something as a mere object for patriarchy, ignoring her emotional and psychological aspects, as well as her dignity. Would you like to see some examples of the chauvinist culture in practice and imagine how it could affect a camgirl? I can show you:
- “Hi, how are you?” x I AM HORNY!
- “Could you please stand up?” x SHOW MORE!
- “Do you mind getting naked?” x CLOTHES OFF!
- “Do you like playing with yourself?” x TOYS BB!
- “I’d love to hear you…” x MOAN MY NAME!
I could continue adding to this list until the sun rises tomorrow (or the day after that), but I will spare you the time and effort. I think these sentences are enough to express the main point of the question: the big issue is not content (the show) but the fact that there are two completely different ways to treat the woman who is working as a camgirl, spending exactly the same amount of time in the room (a.k.a. the same amount of money). After this dialogue, I think we can assume that there is a real cultural issue behind this situation.
As a final consideration, I cannot say that I am happy to conclude that after many centuries, men and women still don’t have equal rights. Thus, the struggle for gender equality and female empowerment continues because there is still a long way to go in order to deconstruct the perception of male supremacy, built and accepted for millennia.
On the other hand, I am thrilled to have the opportunity to write this article in an attempt to help camgirls who share these professional challenges and improve their quality of life. I am also happy to reach out to people who work in other types of positions in the Live Cam Industry. It is one of my goals in life ― maybe just a dream? ― to humanize the industry a little bit more. Once again, many thanks to AW News for giving me the opportunity to voice my thoughts!